In my previous blog post I shared about looking into my resistance; how informative and healing facing my fears can be. I ended it on a positive note that I had a great apartment opportunity newly available to me by going beyond my resistance. Ironically, in a plot twist, the landlord who I shared about in the latter blog post, the one I was afraid to meet, who offered a nicer apartment when I decided to move through my resistance to meet the landlord, suddenly, revoked their offer of the new apartment, saying I could stay in my current apartment for a much shorter (less secure) contract at the same much higher price they asked for the other larger, newly renovated, and furnished apartment.
My head spun, I blinked many times in between re-reading the message. What just happened? I had already started packing as the landlord asked us to move out a month early as part of the deal to get the new apartment so our current apartment could be immediately used as an Airbnb- a favor to the landlord. Was the landlord really trying to manipulate this situation? Was this really happening? I thought, am I seeing this correctly, or just too emotionally close to the situation?
I would like to reiterate here the current housing crisis situation in Rome, Italy. Rental prices are very high with strict requirements to even view an apartment, real estate prices are embellished with high mortgage rates. Many residents have been forced to leave Rome due to the shortage of available houses. I had been looking for an apartment for a year with no luck, only able to see a total of four apartments. I tried to process the news, in my heart I felt we had just lost the best offer for housing we had thus far, and now I was in a powerless position, in which I might have to pay a lot more a month with a less secure contract.
I felt almost out of control anger and sorrow surge through my body and release in streams of tears. I cried, I complained to friends, I wanted to take my anger out on anyone who wasn’t immediately sensitive to my new situation, I didn’t sleep well and I began to obsess about our terrible situation. I was consumed by this and felt powerless. I could feel myself falling into victimhood, which only made me more angry. Luckily, I was able to understand that my reaction to this was out of proportion, likely connected to past times when I felt powerless, however, this realization offered me a chance to choose differently and react to the situation at hand in a new way.
At our current apartment, we have what is known as a 3+2 contract, which means it lasts three years, plus two years that automatically renew if there is no termination notice given by the landlord. Our landlord had given us notice of termination one year before, which said it would be used for commercial use, an Airbnb. The administrator of the building immediately told me that the building’s by laws clearly stated the landlord could not use this apartment for commercial use. He said you should get a lawyer because this is not a plausible termination letter. I resisted the idea of getting a lawyer the entire year despite the housing shortage in Rome, telling myself, and anyone who asked, that I was scared that using a lawyer would make our living situation uncomfortable since the landlord wanted us out anyway. In my perspective of lack, I also often said it would cost more to get a lawyer than to just move. My resistance and fear kept me and my daughter from having the best options to choose from.
Now, resistance forced his hand, the camel’s back broke, and I had a thought that maybe I could leap beyond it. Suddenly, a lawyer was a great idea because obviously the landlord was not going to use our apartment for commercial use per the text message offering it to us at a new increased rental cost and contract, thus, possibly negating the original notice of termination?
Not giving fear a chance to set in, I immediately emailed my friend’s husband who has expertise in these kinds of cases (something I could have done a year earlier). Turns out, by several different Italian laws the landlord’s termination letter is now negated and our original 3+2 contract is still in place with no time left for the landlord to come up with another termination letter. We can simply, safely and within our right by Italian law remain in this apartment under the existing contract! What news, what relief! And, better yet, the law is so strong on this, especially since I am a single mom with a child, that my lawyer said it would be the landlord who pays his costs, not me, were this to actually turn into a court case.
The next step is to send a kind registered letter departing this information and thanking the landlord for the offers all the time knowing I have a lawyer in my pocket for what may come next. I feel empowered and feel I honored myself by standing up for a safe place for my daughter and I to remain in. There will be more twists to come, but, instead of worrying about that, I wonder what else I am resisting, even in the writing of this? Perhaps, truly looking into a mortgage and the responsibility of owning my own place? Come on, resistance, force my hand again!