How Reiki Helped Me Face Childhood Trauma
*Contains traumatic material
F-e-a-r has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.
-Zig Ziglar
Resisting The Call To Heal More
We all live with some level of resistance to fear in our lives. As a Reiki practitioner, I witness this often. Clients who really need Reiki might have something happen to keep them from coming to their first session. It seems natural to have an aversion to fear, however, resisting fear keeps us stagnant and helps us avoid necessary healing steps.
On a personal level, I experienced Reiki highlighting for me what I was habitually resisting. Suddenly, with this new insight, I saw I was resisting facing past trauma! Then, through daily self Reiki, I was able to upgrade my life by moving beyond this resistance and take steps towards healing.
Equally important, I found value in continually trying to comprehend what resistance tells me about why I fear decisions towards healing. I learned that resistance for me can be anything from avoiding the next right step in my life to not showing up on time to activities I commit to. And, for a long time, resistance for me was blocking out childhood trauma.
Early on in my healing journey, I was not logically aware of Reiki helping me work through my resistance and fears. From my first Reiki class in 2023, Reiki began bringing me an awareness of how to heal myself. In spite of this, I was not able to speak, or write about this until now.
I needed more Reiki and complementary healing modalities to truly push me beyond my resistance and to face fearful childhood memories. Luckily, throughout my healing journey, I learned that right behind facing my biggest fears comes my most triumphant healing.
Accepting The Call To Heal More
Initially, I took Reiki level one in hopes it would give me a way to help my daughter who was very sick at the time. In the end, the class put me face to face with healing I needed to do for myself. At the time, that was one particularly traumatic childhood memory.
After taking the course, I started remembering this traumatic event in more detail. I did NOT want to remember any more about it! Or, do any more healing that would bring me closer to the truth and fear of what happened.
Unable to stop re-remembering the event in more detail, I knew I needed more help. This prompted me to take a Reiki level two course. After this class my resistance to healing seemed to dissolve. I took steps, leaps even, towards healing and committed to investing in psychotherapy.
After starting psychotherapy and with more Reiki training I could see that I was living stuck in the fear of past trauma. In addition, being a Mother was the biggest aspect of my life affected by this. For this same reason, my psychotherapist immediately suggested we do trauma healing through sessions called EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
Through our work together, I realized that for twenty-two years I completely blocked out (resisted) the truth of what happened to me. Indeed, not facing this truth kept me from experiencing a full life. What’s more, at the time, many areas of my life were negatively impacted by not healing beyond this. I was unable to truly be in my body, trust others, or love without fear.
Facing Childhood Trauma
I was brutally raped as a teenager, and, in fear, told no one. After this I was unable to function at optimal levels. After re-remembering this, one of the more intense PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms I was living with was shaking violently in fear any time I tried to speak about it. I was stuck in a victim state and had been for many years.
This was keeping me from making choices that made me more powerful. In fact, I was only able to function on a mere survival level in daily life. In addition, I was completely removed from what my body felt and unable to understand or communicate emotions. I did not even realize that I could say, No.
For these reasons, I continued Reiki and EMDR, which slowly desensitized me to the event. Consequently, my PTSD symptoms lowered, which brought more joy to my life. In any case, I also committed to monthly Network Spinal chiropractic sessions to help my nervous system reset.
These sessions coupled with psychotherapy helped me begin to release any negative stories I previously held on to about the trauma in my body and mind. Next, continuing to become stronger in my mind-body connection, I decided to take the Reiki Master level course.
Life and Motherhood After Trauma Healing Work
Evidently, after the Reiki Master class, I was able to take on more responsibility in my life. Soon, I opened my own Reiki studio. Furthermore, I became more effective and understanding with clients. Indeed, I became a truer and more present friend. I am a better neighbor and citizen in this world.
Finally, greater compassion and awareness was my gift from healing trauma. Positively, the very best gift is for my daughter. Without a doubt, my capacity to be a more engaged, aware and loving Mother has grown.
Indeed, I make better choices that support and sustain us. Surprisingly, I can give and receive affection that once triggered me into a freeze mode. With the progression of my healing journey, she has healed too, and thrives today. Continually, able to take less medicine to manage her ailments.
Reiki And Healing Trauma
Exceptionally, I write this calmly with great reverence, and, yes, some tears. I believe being able to share this is a testament to my healing work. Moreover, I believe I have Reiki to thank for helping me begin to face the most feared event of my teenage life.
I contribute being able to share this story with you today, without shaking in fear, to recently taking the Holy Fire® III World Peace Karuna Reiki® course. I took the class from Reiki Masters William Lee Rand and Colleen Benelli on Mt. Kurama in Japan. Both Reiki Masters are well known, highly experienced teachers and Mount Kurama is a very sacred healing mountain, most importantly, Karuna Reiki® is well known for healing trauma.
As a result of this class, it seems as though my trauma healing has accelerated to new levels allowing me to share it. I now see and feel this life event as something that happened in the past. It no longer takes control of my body, mind and spirit. What a profound statement and a beautiful new way to live!
In conclusion
Taking these healing steps may not be as easy as it sounds in the opening quote, to just choose. However, Reiki helped me move past resistance and choose healing! I know there is more healing to do, but, triumphantly, in the writing of this article, I feel like I have already won a great victory in this ‘game of life’. In fact, I feel powerful taking a moment to honor my story.
Getting Help For Trauma
**This article may trigger you, and/or open up painful and traumatic memories. I encourage you to go beyond resisting these feelings and reach out to someone you trust. I recommend seeking professional help as soon as possible. There are many effective healing modalities available. I hope you find ones that work for you. My wish for you is that someday you are able to share your story from a new and powerful perspective.
Powerful Healing Tools For Trauma
To recap, using the combination of healing modalities below helped me. Take heart. I believe you can heal from trauma. It will take time. As they say in Italian, FORZA.
Reading the book, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk helped me better understand trauma and discover the proven therapies there are to heal it.
Reiki gently and subtly opens up my awareness to heal. Augmenting my ability to take on more responsibility. I have healed quicker and more effectively using Reiki.
To help my nervous system to self regulate I go to monthly Network Spinal Chiropractic sessions. These sessions help me integrate the work I do in psychotherapy and EMDR.
My PTSD symptoms are less even disappearing after EMDR treatment, which helps me desensitize to traumatic events.
Psychotherapy takes care of the logical part reconnecting my brain and body. I strongly suggest finding a therapist who does body work as well.
To feel more in my body, I do Tai Chi, Kundalini Yoga and CrossFit.
I recommend trying creative activities like painting, which helps me relax, release emotions and gives me a voice.