*Contains traumatic material
F-e-a-r has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.
-Zig Ziglar
We all live with some level of resistance and fear in our lives and Reiki practitioners work with this often. Clients who really need Reiki often have something happen to keep them from coming to the first session. Moreover, self Reiki often brings me answers about what I am resisting and I have found that Reiki helps me move beyond resistance. In addition, Reiki encourages me to take steps to upgrade my life.
Equally important, I am two years into owning a Reiki studio, and in ongoing courses at the highest Reiki levels. Indeed, working with Reiki makes me more attuned to resistance. Trying to comprehend what resistance tells me about my healing journey. I learned that resistance for me can be anything from avoiding the next right step in my life to not showing up on time to activities I commit to.
Logically, I was not aware of Reiki helping me work through my fears. In spite of, Reiki’s help, I was not able to speak, or write about this until now. In fact, from my Reiki level one class onwards Reiki started bringing me an awareness of how to heal myself. I learned that right behind my biggest resistance comes my most triumphant healing.
I took Reiki level one in hopes it would give me a way to help my daughter who was very sick at the time. After taking the course, I started remembering a traumatic event that happened to me as a teenager. I did NOT want to remember any more about it! Continually, re-remembering the event in more detail, I decided to take a Reiki level two course. After the class my resistance seemed to dissolve, and I took steps, leaps even, towards healing. Reiki continued to gently push me forward and I committed to investing in psychotherapy.
There after, through more Reiki training, I could see that I was stuck in the fear of past trauma. In addition, being a Mother was the biggest aspect of my life that was effected by this. For the same reason, my psychotherapist immediately suggested we do effective trauma healing. Sessions called EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Since, our work together, I realized that for twenty-two years I completely blocked out (resisted) the truth of what happened to me. Indeed, not facing my truth kept me from experiencing a full life. What’s more, I was unable to truly be in my body, trust others, or love without fear.
Since, as a teenager, I was brutally raped, and, in fear, told no one I was unable to function at optimal levels. One of many PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms I was living with was shaking violently in fear any time this memory was triggered. I was stuck in a victim state. Further more, keeping me from making choices that made me more powerful. In fact, I was only able to function on a mere survival level in daily life. In addition, I was completely removed from what my body felt and unable to understand or communicate emotions.
For these reasons, I continued self Reiki and EMDR which slowly desensitized me to the event. Consequently, my PTSD symptoms lowered, which brought more joy to my life. In any case, I committed to monthly Network Spinal chiropractic sessions to help my nervous system reset. Moreover, I began to release any negative stories I previously held on to about the trauma. Next, I decided to take Reiki level three and I continued to become stronger in my mind-body connection.
Evidently, after the class, I was able to take on more responsibility in my life. Soon, I opened my own Reiki studio. Furthermore, I became more effective and understanding with clients. Indeed, I am a truer and more present friend. I am a better neighbor and citizen in this world. In any case, I have Reiki to thank for helping me face the most feared event of my teenage life.
Finally, greater compassion and awareness was my gift from this event. Positively, from my subsequent healing work, the very best gift is for to my daughter. Without a doubt, my capacity to be a more engaged, aware and loving Mother has grown. Indeed, I make better choices that support and sustain us. Surprisingly, I can give and receive affection that once triggered me into a freeze mode. Since, more Reiki, she has healed too, and thrives today. Continually, able to take less medicine to manage her ailments.
Exceptionally, I write this calmly with great reverence, and, yes, with some tears. I believe being able to share this is a testament to my healing work. Moreover, to recently taking the Holy Fire® III World Peace Karuna Reiki® course. I took the class from William Lee Rand and Colleen Benelli on Mt. Kurama in Japan. Both, are well known, highly experienced teachers. Mount Kurama is a very sacred healing mountain. Most importantly, Karuna Reiki® is known for healing trauma.
As a result, I can see this life event as something that happened in the past. It no longer takes control of my body, mind and spirit. A profound statement and a beautiful new way to live.
On the whole, I see how far I have come. Indeed, ongoing Reiki courses help me become ever more aware and able to uplevel my life. I can look at my resistances. For instance, with Reiki at my side, I feel confident living life, making my own decisions, and rising to new heights. Consequently, pushing the limits beyond what I once thought was possible.
To conclude, taking these healing steps may not be as easy as it sounds in the opening quote, to just choose. However, Reiki helps me choose to rise! I know there is more healing to do. Triumphantly, in the writing of this article, I feel like I have already won a great victory in this ‘game of life’. In fact, I feel powerful taking a moment to honor my story.
**This article may trigger you, open up painful and traumatic memories. I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust and to seek professional help. There are many effective healing modalities available. I hope you find ones that work for you. That someday you are able to share your story from a new and powerful perspective.
Using the combination of healing modalities below helped me and reading the book, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. This book helped me better understand trauma and discover the proven therapies there are to heal it.
Below, I recap the modalities I use, highlighting, how they help me in my ongoing healing journey. I believe you can heal from trauma. It will take time. As they say in Italian, FORZA.
Reiki gently and subtly opens up my awareness to heal. Augmenting my ability to take on more responsibility. I have healed quicker and more effectively using Reiki.
To help my nervous system to self regulate I go to monthly Network Spinal Chiropractic sessions. These sessions help me in combination with psychotherapy and EMDR.
My PTSD symptoms are less and I can tell my story after EMDR treatment, which helps me desensitize to traumatic events.
Psychotherapy takes care of the logical part reconnecting my brain and body.
To feel more in my body, I do Tai Chi, Kundalini Yoga and CrossFit and I strongly suggest finding a therapist who does body work.
I recommend trying creative activities like painting , which helps me relax and release emotions.